How I became now

Reason why I decided to start a blog on the different type of men and how women should package ourselves to protect our self-esteem was triggered by man, of course.

I’m not a person good with writing but I wish my experiences shared here could help and serve as a reference for some of you who might be going through some WTF moments with men.

First, let me briefly share my background with y’all.

I am in my late 30s and a divorcee (twice). Not very common for Asians and it is not something I wanted. I came from a big family (extended) and I was one of the youngest of the many cousins I have. I reckoned I was a cute and cheerful little girl, hence, I received lots of attention from my relatives when I was small. I was happy with all the attentions but still felt something missing which I didn’t know what was it.

Fast-forward to my teenage time, my parents divorced and it came to us as a shock. My parents hardly quarrel but were not the most loving couple, too. Still, I was clueless why they had the fight that day. The image still lingers in my memory when the 2 of them briefly fought and after that, all I could remember was my dad left that house and my mum left, too. My younger brother and I were left there with our grandparents. The feeling was so tensed, my vision darkened with fear and sadness. I felt unwanted at that very moment. I guessed that’s when my world of trust crumbled and I started to realize the missing piece even though I was well-loved by my relatives – I couldn’t feel the love from my parents.

Innately since I was a child, I had been wanting to be pampered like a princess. Being spoilt with love. Of course, I didn’t get what I wished. I guessed this had then made me wanting an ideal romantic relationship. Hence, my search for the perfect relationship/ marriage started at very young age.